Something huge has landed in the world of GWAR. Her name is Vulvatron, a spiky purple amazon who has the ability to shoot geysers of blood from her breasts. She also breathes fire and is serving as the group’s new co-vocalist, sharing vocal duties with new scumdog Blothar and other various singers.
Vulvatron made her onstage debut with GWAR at the band’s Riot Fest performance in Chicago. This marks the first female in GWAR since 2000 when the band employed backing vocalist Slymenstra Hymen. Vulvatron is a hell of a beast to lay your eyes on, with GWAR fans sure to fantasize of this new female being. Check out her debut in the fan-filmed footage above.
In a press release, Vulvatron is described as “genetically engineered to the optimum proportions for a female of her species.” The statement further reads, “Vulvatron has returned from the year 69,000, where she was a high-ranking Scumdog assassin in the battle against futuro-fascist forces. Her primary functions include mastery of the arts of war, quantum mechanics, and intergalactic musicology.”
As for her own entry into the band, Vulvatron says, “I have summoned Planck quantities of energy to navigate the fabric of space-time back to this primitive era on Earth. I believe our wormhole might have slightly malfunctioned upon my arrival, also ushering in a primeval creature from a far earlier era, vaguely resembling a Moon Moose. I shall have to report this anomaly to maintenance. My mission is to alter the current path of GWAR so that they might prevent the darkest period in the history of the Universe! I have calculated an optimum plan of action to achieve…Hey! Quit staring at my t-ts!”
In other GWAR news, drummer Jizmak da Gusha had Foo Fighters frontman Dave Grohl targeted for death, but recently decided to hold off after the rocker praised late GWAR leader Dave Brockie (aka Oderus Urungus) during a Foo Fighters show in Richmond.
Grohl told the crowd a couple of stories, first talking about his completely unprepared first experience at a GWAR show. He then referenced an interview that Brockie had given as Oderus Urungus where he claimed that Grohl had his teeth removed “so he could fit more Grammy d-cks in his mouth.”
Jizmak, visibly moved by Grohl’s tribute, offered up his response in the video below. The rocker reveals, “Tonight in Richmond, I had every intention of going to the Foo Fighters show to kill Dave Grohl, but he said something really nice about Oderus and you know, I decided I’m going to spare his life … this time! Besides, the backstage brownies were delicious.”
